Diary of a Modern PA

I can take 2 phone calls, set up an excel spreadsheet, book a conference call and send several emails – all at the same time. Simultaneously, I can review 2 inboxes, update 3 calendars, book dinner for 7 with parking, location map and 2 vegetarian options, knock up a PowerPoint presentation, courier a package and book three hotel rooms and three flights. I speak all languages and have visited all the countries in the world: I therefore know every beach and every hotel. I know all local customs and visa and vaccination requirements for all nationalities and countries. I am personally responsible for the food on the flight, for traffic jams, broken hire cars, overbooked planes, late taxis, the weather, possible war and unrest, as well as the economic situation and adverse currency exchange rate fluctuations. I possess magical powers which enable me to get a room in a fully booked hotel and seats on fully booked planes and trains. I can also arrange for planes to start and land at your desired destinations at your preferred times. I know that – even though you asked me to book you a flight for Friday – you really wanted to travel on Saturday. Also, if you arrange a meeting with somebody over the phone and don’t tell me, I telepathically know and will book and prepare a meeting room and arrange drinks.